You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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