can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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