I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
