Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
