I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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