I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
