I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
