Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
