I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
