Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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