Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
