So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I cut my penus on the lid.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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