D3 body, D1 cock
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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