I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
