turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
As shirtless as possible
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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