Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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