bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
