wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
