clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
