Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
