his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
