the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
