someone get that fucking seahorse.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize