i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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