are you so shy because you have an std?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
