You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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