I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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