Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
im six kinds of drunk right now
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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