I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
