I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
