i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
