shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
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I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
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My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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