so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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