she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
