There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
