what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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