Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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