Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
