I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
