He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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