My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize