He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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