dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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