end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
