I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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