I wannas sexs uuuuu
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
