The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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