there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
