Tell her she can't have a vagina
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
