are you still at the devil's house?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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