Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize