so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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