help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
