i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
