If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
