I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
