Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.