the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"