What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
What a dumb baby whore.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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